Stop saying sorry for being busy and owning your time...
- Setting Boundaries for yourself
- Not always being perfect
- Crying or showing emotions
Being truly authentic and showing your vulnerable side takes courage and inner strength – the first time you stop apologising for who you are will feel difficult and you might also want to run or find yourself apologising. I want to let you know that if it isn’t about you, then you don’t have to own it.
You have every right to set boundaries, it is not you ‘being awkward’ or selfish. Ask yourself, ‘is this true’ what they are saying, sometimes we feel so guilty that we start over thinking about the affect on the other person, this is when you are likely to back track. Know that you are not less compassionate, or rejecting others. Remember, that keeping boundaries kills feelings of resentment and nurtures compassion for ourselves and others.
It’s ‘ok’ not to be perfect a 100% of the time. Every week I look at what problems might need solving. I work out ‘what will be ok with me’ and what’s not ok with me’. I try to find a balance that works for me as I tend to overcommit and then feel overwhelmed. I have had to learn to speak my ‘truth', as I feel and know it. I look and evaluate what material things I would like to possess and what benefits I would get from each of these ‘things’. Am I buying these as they portray that I would have the ‘perfect lifestyle’ or have the ‘perfect family or friendship group’. I split these ideas into the following groups Environment, Self, Books, Self Care.
Next, it is about the changes I want to focus on:
Emotional as I have a tendency towards codependency and denial
Relationship with self, partner, family, friends
Nutrition, keeping to a balance diet
Find a balance between ‘me time’ and ‘work time’
What work goals do I want to focus on? These might be working on my communication skills to be Direct – Open – Honest, Be gentle – Be Loving – Be firm – Don’t fix.
To speak my truth, as I think, feel and as I know.
And finally, I check on my Freedom Wellbeing Wheel that I have covered all the bases including adding in Fun, Joy, Lifestyle and Pace, Meditation and Movement, before finally letting it go if I don’t get it right 100% of the time.
Whether it’s September or any other month of the year, self care is fundamental in recovery from chronic symptoms. Here is the Freedom Wellbeing wheel for you to complete for you ongoing Self Care. Creating balance and recognising when we go off on a tangent will create less stress in all areas of your life.